She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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