It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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