my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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