She just used a chaser for red wine.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
