you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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