I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
