That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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