I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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