i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
COCAINE IS GR8
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
