it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
