Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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