Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize