He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Still dying that you shit outside
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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