Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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