sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
