This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
