i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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