everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
