I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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