just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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