Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
