Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
