that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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