we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
