so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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