I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
