My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
