This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
