i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
