Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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