reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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