her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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