I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
