Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
