just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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