Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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