Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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