Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can I color on your dick again?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
