found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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