I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
