a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
