Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize