I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
