she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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