check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
