Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
