Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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