i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
