The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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