You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
