turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
