dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
should my penis look like a turkey
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
