she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
