You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the day after is always just damage control
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
