Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
