Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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