hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
