I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
