They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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