Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
