My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i out mim tonsoeep
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