he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize